So, I’m feeling kind of bummed at the moment. Motherhood is such a wonderful thing, but there’s always unattainable goals, you know? There’s always someone (or a lot of someones) out there that’s doing a better job, and I wish I could… Some things I feel mama-guilt about are:

-I sprayed weedkiller on my lawn (I should pull out all weeds by hand so as not to expose myself or my kids to harmful chemicals)

-using Splenda in baking (I shouldn’t be exposing my kids to anything not 100% natural, especially not just to save myself a few calories)

-going out for fast food a couple times a week (transfats in the fries are terrible for us, but honestly we don’t get fries every time)

-yelling at Killy when he purposely stomps on Ellie’s fingers (I should be calmer and explain to him for the 5,000th time in a day that its not nice and she doesn’t want to play with people who are mean to her, then remove her from the situtation)

-I don’t keep the house clean enough (I don’t want my kids to grow up not knowing how to keep house, because then they’ll live like ditch-pigs and drive their roommates and spouses crazy)

-spending too much time cleaning (I should be focusing every moment on raising my kids with love and joy and its crappy for me to spend any time on cleaning because then I’m not focusing enough on them)

-eating too much chocolate (I need to loose a few more pounds)

-not eating enough fruits and veggies (most days we do get our 5/day, but we should exceed that every day)

-using disposable diapers because I don’t want to spend my only two hours a day without the kids washing poopy dipes (I should be using cloth becuase its better for the environment and for kid’s skin)

UGH! I feel like no matter what I do, there’s some way I could do it better and I’m failing my family by not figuring out how to do things better. There’s also always some mom on one of the various Attachment Parenting message boards I go to that has a better, smarter, kinder, more environmentally friendly, and more nurturing way of doing things.

Okay, whininess out of my system.

We had a lovely dinner tonight of multi-grain pasta with sheep’s milk feta cheese and salad. Killy and I also had our new favorite lunch: tomato-basil soup (from a can) with 1 cup of quick cooking barley and one extra cup of water thrown in. The barley cooks up, absorbing some of the soup and its delicious and makes the soup super-satisfying and filling. Round the meal out with a banana and some rice-milk with chocolate soy-protein-and-spirulina powder mixed in and its a wonderful midday meal.

Well, I’m 16 minutes short of meeting my monthly exercise goal of 1200 minutes, so I think I’ll go do about half an hour of yoga. That will probably help center me and calm me…

This entry was posted on Monday, July 31st, 2006 at 8:56 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.