I finally got the last of the pictures from our trip to Florida loaded!

It has been a very busy fall so far! The kids are doing great at school, David’s enjoying his job… all is good, just busy! I’m still working at a parent resource center part time and substitute teaching on demand.

Some things have fallen to the wayside – like blogging! – but there are still things I insist on… we have dinner together as a family every night we possibly can (Wednesdays we eat at church, we try to eat dinner before I go to PTA meetings), I try to make sure the kids practice their instruments every day, and (unless I’m subbing) I workout every day. Life gets A LOT busier once mama goes back to work! I’m so blessed, though, that I have a job where I don’t have to arrange for childcare for my kids on a regular basis, that I can put them on the bus in the morning and meet them when they get off it in the evening, and I have the energy left to fix homemade meals most nights.  I wonder if the kids will ever look back and realize that it was a sacrifice – one that I happily make, but still a sacrifice. I have moments where I wish I had a full-time job with a regular 9-5 schedule instead of 3 half-days a week and early morning calls to come sub (which I’m always thankful for!), a job with benefits and more stability, a job where I manage a team of people and plan bigger events… but I love the lifestyle my jobs give me and I love the work I’m doing. I know I’m directly serving families in my own community, and I’m so glad I get the chance to help people. I also try really, really hard to be a loving, positive, encouraging influence on kids in my classes when I sub. This is my third year subbing, and since I do the majority of my subbing at one (smallish) school, its so sweet to walk through the lunchroom and have kids from different grades jump up and come hug me, and hear “Hi, Mrs. Woods!” as I walk down the hall.

I have realized I need to try to take some more “time off” during the weekends, when David is home with the kids.  I don’t like to give up our family time, but working with kids so much during the week and spending the mornings and evenings with my kids does wear me down sometimes.  I am such an extrovert, I never thought I’d need down-time, but I do! Being by myself, or being in situations with other adults where I can just be “Jen” (not Mama or Mrs. Woods) is important. I need that relaxation and renewal time.  Whether its visiting friends, going shopping by myself, or taking a long bikeride – I need that time where I’m not responsible for any little people.

At the same time, I’ve realized that I’m feeling more confident in my abilities as a mother than I used to.  I was talking with one of my college professors about how now I can look at my kids and just laugh at family/friends who questioned my parenting beliefs/values – as he said, “The data is in!” I have two lovely children who are both gifted, respectful, talented, and sweet. Every parent-teacher conference I’ve ever had I’ve been told my children are a joy, good helpers, very respectful, and fun to be around. I know that’s not _all_ due to my parenting style, but I feel like it does show me that I’m on the right path.  Gentle discipline, a high-touch relationship (including co-sleeping and lots of cuddling!), and trying really hard to always show my kids the same respect I want them to show me _is_ the right choice for my family.  Now I’m finally at a place where I can roll my eyes at family members who think I’m a pushover because I don’t spank, and at family members who think I’m mean because I have firm rules and consequences. And that’s a good place to be!  I know I’m not a perfect mother – I’m always working on having more patience and not raising my voice. While I’m disappointed in myself when I slip, I keep working at it – and I’d like to think that THAT is what makes me a good mother.

Now I’m off to give the kiddos baths and read them to sleep, then tomorrow I’m off to share my time with a wonderful class of preschoolers!

Go to our Flickr page (link at right) to see pictures from the community theater Melodrama Erin and I were in and pictures from our vacation in Destin, FL!

Follow the link on your right to our Flikr page so you can see some of the pictures from our recent trip to visit Auntie Carina!

This week will be very exciting and busy – on Monday the kids and I are going to Richmond to meet up with my best friend from Kansas City and her kids and play at the Children’s Museum. Yay! David has the day off, but he doesn’t want to come with us so it will just be the three of us. (I’m bummed that David doesn’t want to join us, but I’m not going to push him to come when he doesn’t want to because then he’ll be grumpy and ruin the day for all of us.)

On Thursday the kids and I are leaving to go to Rochester, NY to visit Auntie Carina! We’re going to drive halfway there and spend the night camping out in a state park in PA, then we’re going to go the rest of the way on Friday. We’ll spend the weekend with Carina and head back Monday. IF camping goes well the first time, we’ll camp out again on the way back. If not, we’ll drive straight home. And then school starts that Thursday!

I feel horribly guilty, but I’m looking forward to school starting again. We can all get back into a normal routine – I’ll be able to workout everyday without depending on other people to watch the kids. (By the way, my dad is the BEST! He would call and OFFER to come watch the kids so I could go for a run, I don’t know anyone else who actually offers to help. And, to me, there is a huge difference between saying yes when I ask and actually offering – the latter means a million times more.) The kids will get along better with each other because they’ll have other children to interact with for several hours each day – then they seem to appreciate each other more in the evenings. I’ll be working part-time and have several hours a week where I’m helping people and planning events – I really enjoy my job and missed it over the summer.

I have desperately wanted a Subaru Baja for the last four years. I’ve been so patient! When our Trooper died, I thought I was going to get one, but it didn’t work out – its a hard vehicle to find and there weren’t any within a reasonable distance so David picked out the 300, which he drives to and from work. And I had just about given up on finding a Baja now – they’re so hard to find and now I was looking in an even lower price bracket. But, I found one online this morning! I went and test drove it and got it (at a great price) and I’m so happy! Now I’ll have an AWD for the winter, and I don’t have to drive the huge minivan around all the time anymore! We got the minivan when we were planning on having 4 or 5 kids, but now that we’ve decided to stop at 2 its just ridiculously huge. Its nice for going somewhere with my parents and the kids, but otherwise there’s 3 empty seats all the time!

One of the things you don’t think about till you live out in the boonies is getting rid of your trash – there’s no trash pickup where we live, so if we want to take our trash to the closest dumpsters we have to put the bags in our car – YUCK.  (Actually, my dad usually stops by in his pickup truck and takes them, but that’s not a good permanent system.) Now I can haul my own trash, get a load of mulch or dirt whenever I need it, take the dogs hiking with us without having to clean out the interior of the car before and after… And it fits our family perfectly since it has 4 seats. I’m so happy!

Its been an intense couple of weeks! David’s had a huge project going on at work and has been working crazy hours for the past three weeks – including working the past two weekends. So, I’ve been single mom-ing it (again, like last summer) for the most part. He leaves before we wake up and has been getting home either just before the kids go to bed, or after they’re in bed. I’m so grateful that he has an awesome job, and that we have a steady income now, but its been tough. And then Killian got a terrible stomach bug. I ended up taking him to the doctor – he’d been vomiting and having diarrhea for 8 hours straight and was complaining that it was difficult to breathe. I was worried he’s aspirated some vomit. It turned out he was just so dehydrated that he was too weak to take full breaths, but it was still a very scary day overall. We ended up taking a couple days at home, not going out at all because we didn’t want to spread it around.

I’ve found that days we stay home might be even more exhausting than days we go out – because I end up cleaning most of the day. And cooking three meals.

I’m hoping that July starts off better than June ended! I think its so important that kids have a stay-at-home-parent, but I’m pretty darn burned out right now. I had a “day off” today, but it consisted mostly of running errands for David and my sister. I’m looking forward to having a date with David tomorrow – we’re either going to a local beer and wine festival or going for a bikeride together, we haven’t decided yet. I’m just so happy I’ll get an afternoon of adult-only time with David – I’ve really missed him the last few weeks! Last summer I knew he would be in NYC for 5-6 days each week, so I prepared myself better. This summer it caught me by surprise. I need to get back in the right mind frame for it. Any other moms out there have advice for me? He’s got another week and a half on this project.  I know its not fair to expect him to help out a lot at home after he’s worked 19 days straight, but I’ve been single mom-ing it for 19 days straight and its frustrating to run errands half the day and come home to kids who haven’t been fed and a sinkful of dirty dishes and a messy house… but, I don’t want David to spend his first day off in three weeks cleaning. Any volunteers to come clean my house and keep my kids for a day while I go do something completely unproductive? No? I didn’t think so, but it doesn’t hurt to ask…

So, my whole life I had looooong hair.  Even after having kids, I kept my long hair.

It was a big change a few years ago when I went shorter, even though my hair was still “long.”

And then I briefly went even shorter:

But, I spent the next two years growing it back out again:

And then last year I went with a pixie cut! I’d been thinking about it for a long time, but finally just bit the bullet and did it.

Now, I’m trying to decide what I want to do with my hair.  I’m thinking about growing it out to something like this:

Or this:

Or maybe this:

My hair grows pretty quickly, but it is a pain to grow out a pixie.  And I like having a pixie, but sometimes I do miss having long gorgeous hair. There’s a certain level of security with having long hair – even if I’m feeling fat or don’t feel like putting make up on, if I have long shiny hair I still always look conventionally pretty. Short hair is a lot more edgy and there are people who just hate it. One of my friends from high school’s dad was nearly in tears when he saw me and went on and on about how sad it was that I cut my beautiful hair off.  I also have always felt like a pixie cut works best on someone with a pixie-body, which I definitely don’t have at the moment.

Anyone have any suggestions? Should I stick with the pixie, or work on growing it out to one of the styles I posted above?